The Common Standard

Category: Reflections

  • Is it Enough?

    Is it Enough?

    On childhood, pace, and the life we’re actually building

    Is it enough—

    to take my kids on a long walk,
    to spend the morning at home,
    to pass the afternoon pulling weeds in the garden, with a simple stew in the crockpot?

    Is it enough stimulation for them?
    Enough to call it a full life—for them, or for me?

    The weeding needed to be done either way. And the kids love being outside, so we went out front. I sat down in a bright patch of sun next to the garden bed and started pulling weeds.

    A few minutes later, my three-year-old came over with a handful of sticks, leaves pushed onto the ends, and told me we were roasting marshmallows.

    She led me to the driveway, where she had arranged more sticks into a small pile. I sat down, and she began “starting” the fire so we could roast our leaf marshmallows.

    It was in that moment that I realized—

    yes, this is enough.

    But it doesn’t always feel that way.

    Within one block of our house, we have restaurants, a gym, dance classes, jujitsu. A few blocks further—softball, soccer, swim lessons. And beyond that, of course, the options only grow.

    It’s hard not to absorb the pace of it all. To feel like we should be doing more, offering more, filling their time with experiences and opportunities.

    Sometimes I get pulled into it—energized by the possibilities—and I start to fill our schedule. Activities, errands, playdates, all layered on top of each other.

    For a while, it feels good. Productive. Like we’re keeping up.

    But it never lasts.

    Within a few weeks, it begins to unravel.

    I find myself rushing them out the door, shushing them because I can’t think, trying to keep everything on track. The day starts to feel tight, like there’s no room for anything unexpected.

    No time for driveway campfires.

    And I have to stop and ask—

    is this the pace I want for their childhood?

    To show them that life moves in a constant rush, from one thing to the next? That stillness is something to avoid?

    Because it doesn’t stay contained to the schedule. It becomes a way of moving through the world—hurried, reactive, always reaching for what’s next.

    I know some families thrive in that rhythm.

    But for us, it always ends the same way: burnout. Disconnection. A sense that we’re moving too quickly, and missing something along the way.

    And more than anything, that’s not the tone I want to set for my kids.

    What I want for them feels much simpler.

    I want them to remember peace.
    To remember what it felt like to be home, together, without always needing somewhere else to go.

    I want them to remember warmth—slow meals, time outside, being near the people they love.

    I want them to remember wonder—the kind that shows up in ordinary places, like a driveway and a handful of sticks turned into a campfire.

    It might not look like much from the outside.

    A walk. A yard. A pot on the stove.

    But inside those moments, a full life is being built.

    A steady pace. Open space. Enough time for something unexpected to take shape.

    And maybe, more often than we think—

    it already is enough.

  • Learning the Weather

    Learning the Weather

    On attention, place, and the rhythms we forget to notice

    A gust of wind came barreling through an opening in the trees.

    It hit like a freight train—sudden and forceful—swirling the leaves into a small cyclone across the patio. It nearly knocked me over, startling me enough that the person on the other end of the phone heard me shouting for the dog to get inside.

    I had been watching the storm roll in from the west, as it often does this time of year, but that wind took me by surprise.

    After I hung up, I went inside and stood at the window, watching the trees bend sharply under the force of it.

    It brought me back to the summer storms of my childhood in Virginia.

    I couldn’t think of the word in time to explain it over the phone, but storms like that—sudden, concentrated bursts of wind—would come through every few years. The weather followed patterns we came to recognize. Storms moved east off the lake, toward our house.

    Predictable enough that, more than once, we found ourselves sprinting up the stone path, the storm chasing our heels. We would make it just in time—slipping under cover as the downpour swallowed the house.

    I wonder now if most children will ever learn the patterns of a place the way we did.

    Will they spend enough time outside to recognize them for themselves?
    Will the weather even remain steady enough to form that kind of familiarity?

    Here in Florida, the patterns are different, but they are there.

    Storms build and shift in ways that become familiar if you watch long enough—winds changing direction with the seasons, clouds gathering in certain places before moving through.

    It’s the kind of knowing that doesn’t come from looking something up.

    It comes from being there.

    From noticing, over and over again, how things move and change.

    But that kind of attention is becoming harder to hold.

    Most of life now happens indoors, in carefully controlled environments where the weather outside barely registers. And when we do step out, it’s easy to remain elsewhere—pulled into something on a screen, something louder, something closer.

    Over time, the connection fades.

    Not because the patterns disappear, but because we stop noticing them.

    And when we lose that awareness, we lose something else too—a sense of belonging to the place we live.

    But it doesn’t take much to begin to return.

    When we slow down, even briefly, the patterns are still there—waiting to be seen again.

    Not all at once, but gradually.

    In the way the light shifts at a certain hour.
    In the direction the wind tends to move before a storm.
    In the feeling in the air just before the rain comes.

    And often, these things are not learned alone.

    They’re shared—through small conversations with neighbors or shopkeepers, through passing comments about the weather, about what’s changing, about what someone else has noticed too.

    A kind of quiet, collective awareness of place.

    The storm will come and go, whether we notice it or not.

    But to live somewhere—to really live there—is to begin to recognize its rhythms.

    To feel when something is about to change.

    To step outside, and know, in some small way, what is coming.